During the past month or so I’ve not been in a good place at all.
In particular, I’ve been having some very distressing dreams about the job I’ve just left.
They’ve been happening soon after I’ve gone to sleep and then I’m often awake for the rest of the night, going over things again and again in my head.
The strange thing is that yesterday I finally told someone about them. I didn’t tell him much in the way of detail particularly. But I said out loud that they had been happening.
Perhaps it was a coincidence. Last night there was no big, bad job in bed with me.
Instead, I had the loveliest, most peaceful night which is so difficult to explain. I now realise that I was asleep but at the time I thought I was awake and I was telling myself that I had no reason to feel lost or alone or afraid – all I had to feel was love and joy and to appreciate every single wonderful thing that I had in my life.
I swear I’m not making this up!
When I finally woke this morning after seven hours’ sleep my fatometer reported that I’d had a ‘good’ night – which almost never happens.
But the weirdest thing of all is that my heart rate has dropped massively overnight. Whallop!
Today I should have been face down in job applications all day but instead I’ve seen my lovely little niece smile her head off while to-ing and fro-ing on a swing, joined a very interesting internal communications webinar, submitted a quite horrific video interview for a job, looked into some temporary and freelance opportunities and cooked dins with the door open for the very first time in my home.
And if that wasn’t amazing enough, I’ve just written a blog post about it all!
My life continues to be a challenge. I’m quite sure yours does too. But we all need to just hang on in there.
Life will get better soon – I’m sure of it.
Much so-long love